Language Faux Pas

I imagine many of you think I am fluent in Italian by now. I hate to disappoint you but I am far from that. I am better but it is a slow process. Partly because there isnt much need and everyone wants to practice their english and partly because other than ordering food or asking for directions, I dont have many detailed conversations with Venetians. But that is not to say I am not trying. I do meet twice a week with a gal who is very patient with me and is helping me...poor thing--she had no idea what she was getting into when she said yes to me!

I make faux pas all day long but only two of them have been good enough for me to share with others and at their insistence, I am going to put my embarassment on the blog.

First, at dinner one night, I didnt have a fork at my place setting. I thought of the word and was pretty sure it wasnt that word but couldnt think of the exact thing...figured I would give it a go anyway and instead of asking for a fork, I asked for an oar--you know the kind they move the gondola's with! Well, everyone got a great laugh and wondered about my eating habits. Forcola is very close to forchetta, no?

The other mistake, which I am sure will live in infamy, has to do with my head last Saturday. As I was walking around with the pain, I thought it might be a good idea to tell someone in case I die (well, one thinks strange things in a foreign country with a head injury). I didnt want to call home as it was the middle of the night and didnt think I need to raise the flag and get everyone upset. So, I sent a text message to Marco. I tried to do it Italian but didnt have my dictionary onhand (as I was walking around) so I improvised and basically told him that I hit my head and was in need of a suppository! Yep, that's right, a suppository! The best part is that he tried calling me all night when I was asleep (I slept through the phone calls) and was worried but didnt really know if it was serious because who needs a suppository for their head? He wondered how he was going to tell the authorities what the problem was.....was it my head or my butt?! Anyway, I got a huge laugh out of this one as did Marco and I am sure you are quite amused right now as well.

So, now I am not only embarassed because I hit myself in the head, but also because I told someone I needed a suppository for it.....not sure which is worse but since I cant see you laughing, I am ok with writing it here!