Finally.....

After months of being asked if I was scared or nervous (at which the reply was always a firm NO), it happened. I spent 5 hours working on some phantom laptop problem last night that wasn't really a laptop problem but probably an ISP problem. At 1230am this morning as I hung up the phone from the umpteenth 'techncial advisor' with what seemed to be a resolved situation, my stomach ached and my head swam and my palms were sweaty. And just a few moments later, the tears rolled. I am officially scared......what am I doing?! Just a little thing like who am I going to call in Italy when my laptop freezes was enough to start the litany of questions. I am leaving all things familiar and comfortable for the unfamiliar and uncomfortable...who in their right mind would do that on purpose?! I don't exactly have an answer for that because in my exhaustion, I fell asleep crying. I have awaken with "Marty Feldman" eyes and way too early, only to check my computer and see the phantom has returned.....finally, it is all real...the months of planning and thinking and strategizing are all in the distant past and I am faced with the new adventure that unfolds. God help me! seems to be all I can come up with.